Teaching Kids Courage Through Esther And Everyday Fears

We explore how Esther’s courage can guide modern parenting and why bravery is not the absence of fear but action alongside it. We share six practical skills and simple scripts to help kids face scary moments with support, clarity, and small steps.

• redefining bravery so fear and courage can coexist
• the Franklin story and why labels backfire
• validating fear before offering advice
• swapping praise for permission to feel scared
• naming the fear and anchoring with presence
• describing effort rather than fixed identity
• shrinking big tasks into first steps
• weekly takeaway scripts parents can try

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Transcript

Adar Joy And A Hard Topic

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hello, welcome to Simply Jewish Parenting and a good and clotus to everybody. So excited, it's Adar.

Esther’s Crossroads And True Courage

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Alright, I'm your host, Adina Sakloff, and today as we get ready for Adar and Perm, I want to talk about bravery, fear, and what our kids actually need from us in hard moments. The most compelling part of the poem story to me is when Mortipai sends a message to Esther and tells her to approach the king to save the Jewish people. Esther basically tells him she can't. She's scared, and rightly so. She has not been called to the king in 30 days, and anyone who approaches the king without being summoned will be killed. And then, in one of the most moving speeches in the McGillah, Mordepai convinces Esther to lay her life on the line in order to save the Jewish people. Mordecai brings out the best in Esther. He encourages her and in essence tells her, you could do this, you have it in you to do this. It is then that we see Esther's brave behavior. She puts in motion one of the most daring, understated, and successful rescue missions in Jewish history.

Franklin The Turtle And Fear

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Alright, let's put this into a parenting perspective. I want to talk about bravery. So many years ago, my daughter had a minor surgery. And when I asked our pediatrician how to prepare her, she recommended a children's book. You might know. Franklin goes to the hospital. Franklin is a turtle. He hurts his shell playing soccer and needs surgery to fix it. And in the days leading up to the operation, everyone keeps on telling him the same thing. You're so brave. You're such a brave turtle. Until the day of the surgery when Franklin is asked to get an x-ray and he completely falls apart. He cries, he refuses, and he finally says something incredibly honest. Everyone keeps on telling me I'm brave, but if you take a picture of my insides, you'll see that I'm very scared. I thought that was so clever. So most people think that if I'm brave, I'm not supposed to be

Redefining Bravery For Kids

SPEAKER_00 2:03

scared. But being brave is really about being scared and pushing through the fear. Like doctor visits, homework meltdowns, social anxiety, bedtime fears, speaking up for themselves. Those are all real fears. Our job isn't to eliminate fear, it's to teach kids how fear and courage could coexist, just like Esther. Alright, so how can we do that? So, number one, we want to redefine bravery out loud. Preferably not when your kid is scared, but in some neutral moments. Or fear doesn't mean stop, it means slow down. Or you could feel scared and still take a step. This simple redefinition prevents kids from thinking fear equals failure.

Normalize Fear Before Coaching

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Skill number two, normalize fear first. Before encouraging, try that makes sense. New things could feel scary, or this feels really big. Or a lot of kids feel this way. Validation lowers resistance fast. Alright, skill number three.

Permission Over Praise

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We want to swap praise for permission. So instead of saying you're so brave or you've got this, don't be scared. Try. You could be scared and do hard things. Or being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid, or I'm here with you while you feel scared. You actually make space for them to feel courageous. Alright, skill number four.

Name The Fear And Anchor

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You could also name the fear and then anchor the child. So try it makes sense that you're scared, or something new is happening, or I'm right here with you, and then add, could we do this together? Or can we figure out the hard part and see if we could find a way to work through it?

Describe Effort Not Identity

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Alright, next, skill number five. Describe effort, not identity. So don't say you're so brave. Because that makes them shy away from actually being brave. Instead, you want to say, that was hard, or you didn't like that, or you were scared and you did it anyway. This teaches kids that courage is something they do, not something that they are. All right, skill number six, shrink the

Shrink The Task Into Steps

SPEAKER_00 4:18

task. We could say things when our kids are scared, we could say things like, what's the first small step, or let's just start, or we can stop and reassess. This turns fear from something overwhelming into something manageable, we hope. All right.

Key Takeaways And Closing

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So, in conclusion, bravery isn't the absence of fear. It's moving forward with fear, supported, understood, and not alone. And your takeaway for this week is don't be surprised that when we tell our kids you shouldn't feel scared or even you're so brave that they shut down or act out or push themselves too hard. Try saying instead, you know what, new things could be scary. You got this, we could do this together. Thanks for listening to Simply Jewish Parenting. If this episode resonated, please share it with another parent and make sure to leave a review. Five stars would be greatly appreciated. Have a great day.